This paper was pretty good. I was super impressed with the thoroughness of your study. Interviewing 100 people from all different grades and ethnicities takes a ton of time and effort, and your quality of data was really high. Your goal of finding out what factor is largest in keeping college students from investing in the stock market was definitely achieved, however, there were a few issues. First off, your formatting was a little bit off. This is going to sound really picky, but you need to bold your headings and subheadings, not italicize. Additionally, you had a bunch of minor grammatical errors. I wrote fixes to these on the paper itself. They seem minor, but built up they would probably wreck your grade, and the research you did was so good it would be an absolute waste to see that. Fix the grammar errors and your paper is automatically so much better. Another thing you could fix would just be the formatting of your references. Just clean them up a little. You could also try to avoid using the word "I". Finally, you could be more concise. Take out filler words that aren't absolutely necessary. This will help make your paper seem more professional, and make it seem like more of a presentation of information as opposed to a different kind of paper. Overall, good job, but for sure read through my written comments on the physical copy of the paper.
Overall, I think you did a good job on your paper. The experiment was interesting and something worth researching more into. I really appreciate how much time you spent in order to survey 100 people. The part that I would add to your paper is in the abstract. You did include a lot of details on the gap and resources that you used. However, I would recommend adding some more details about your experiment such as your results and theory because the abstracts are supposed to give all the important information for someone who doesn't have time to read the whole paper. Good luck on the paper!
This paper was pretty good. I was super impressed with the thoroughness of your study. Interviewing 100 people from all different grades and ethnicities takes a ton of time and effort, and your quality of data was really high. Your goal of finding out what factor is largest in keeping college students from investing in the stock market was definitely achieved, however, there were a few issues. First off, your formatting was a little bit off. This is going to sound really picky, but you need to bold your headings and subheadings, not italicize. Additionally, you had a bunch of minor grammatical errors. I wrote fixes to these on the paper itself. They seem minor, but built up they would probably wreck your grade, and the research you did was so good it would be an absolute waste to see that. Fix the grammar errors and your paper is automatically so much better. Another thing you could fix would just be the formatting of your references. Just clean them up a little. You could also try to avoid using the word "I". Finally, you could be more concise. Take out filler words that aren't absolutely necessary. This will help make your paper seem more professional, and make it seem like more of a presentation of information as opposed to a different kind of paper. Overall, good job, but for sure read through my written comments on the physical copy of the paper.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think you did a good job on your paper. The experiment was interesting and something worth researching more into. I really appreciate how much time you spent in order to survey 100 people. The part that I would add to your paper is in the abstract. You did include a lot of details on the gap and resources that you used. However, I would recommend adding some more details about your experiment such as your results and theory because the abstracts are supposed to give all the important information for someone who doesn't have time to read the whole paper. Good luck on the paper!
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